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Stop Trying to Humble Black Women
Oprah’s Meghan and Harry interview shows how humility isn’t a virtue, it’s a sentence when weaponized against Black women
It’s a bind most Black women know too well. It usually presents itself when a Black woman chooses to relinquish herself from societal expectations, pivoting from self-preserving humility to open self-assurance. Somewhere between this shift, she inevitably trips a wire sounding an alarm with a message clear as day: humble yourself or be humbled.
Women are generally chastised for taking up too much space, but Black women pay a heftier social fine for not shrinking themselves. Misogynoir, a term created by Moya Bailey, speaks to this unique brand of racist and sexist discrimination that results in “the specific hatred, dislike, distrust, and prejudice directed toward Black women.” And, if you haven’t noticed, this particular form of compounded oppression is running rampant. Just look to Meghan Markle and her recent personal disclosures from her groundbreaking Oprah interview.
Markle revealed that her mere existence as the first Black woman married into the family was enough to ruffle (racist) feathers across the world. Markle noted that the criticism grew to be so burdensome that she seriously began questioning whether others would be better off if she were no longer living. If that’s not enough evidence, direct your attention to Chloe Bailey. Bailey, one half of the sibling duo Chole X Halle, continues to offend masses with every poppin’ selfie she takes — to the point that she saw fit to address the criticism head-on. In a tearful Instagram Live, the 22-year-old singer/songwriter/producer solemnly acknowledged the haters and her journey towards self-love and self-acceptance. Both Markle and Bailey’s stories illuminate the depths of society’s discomfort with Black women confidently existing and minding the business that pays them.
This phenomenon isn’t just relevant to people with high follower counts. Black women who aren’t duchesses or celebrities also harbor fears of discrimination or backlash for refusing to cower or humble themselves. Tina*, a 29-year-old Black woman educator and writer, highlights that this awareness of how others may view her confidence causes her to minimize her…
